Of Broken Arms and Super Ninja
by Ranowa Hikura
Summary: Kakashi's first injury wasn't on a mission- not that Sakumo knows that. And now, Kakashi wants to play with Jiraiya. If only his puppy dog eyes weren't so good... Kid!Kakashi, Jiraiya, and Minato (who somehow worked his way in here) fluff. No pairings.


Totally inspired by when I broke my arm. When I was three. By falling off a chair :D Well, enjoy!

* * *

"Kakashi goes spinny!"

Kakashi cheered as Jiraiya spun the chair around slowly, pumping little fists into the air happily. "Again!" he cried. "Again, Jiji!"

"Aaaaaaand _again_ Kakashi goes spinny!" Once more, Jiraiya spun Kakashi around, grinning as the silver-haired child whooped gleefully. "Again, Kashi?"

"Again, again!"

Jiraiya laughed. "You're a greedy little boy, aren't you? Well, okay- _again_!" He spun Kakashi another time, unable to help chuckling along the thrilled boy's cheering. "I don't know what Sakumo was so worried about. You're not a handful, are you, Kakashi-kun?"

Kakahsi shook his head, then tugged on Jiraiya's hand, calling, "Again!"

Jiraiya spun him again and laughed. "I am an awesome babysitter! Your father was panicking about nothing."

"Daddy mean," Kakashi announced, then tugged on his hand again. "Doesn't trust you. But you're fun, Jiji!"

"Aren't I?" he declared, clearly impressed, then spun Kakashi another time. "Well, you're lots of fun too, Kakashi. And you know what the best thing about all of this is?"

"I get to spin?" Kakashi guessed, and Jiraiya chuckled.

"Okay, the _second_ best thing is Minato's coming over soon- he'll see how awesome I am with you and finally agree that I'm responsible! I even cooked dinner and everything for you guys- no way he can see me as anything _but_ responsible after that! Right, Kakashi-kun?"

Kakashi tugged on his hand again for another spin and nodded. "Right! You're re-pons-itle!"

"…You got that right!"

Jiraiya spun Kakashi about another few more times when there was a knock at his door- the smoke alarm going off at the exact same moment. "Oh, crap- hold on a second, Minato!" he yelled, then gave Kakashi an extra strong push before hurrying away to save his apartment from being burned down. He sprinted back to his kitchen, and Kakashi heard him yell something about a_ suiton _before there was the sound of crashing water. He frowned at that. Hey… that sounded fun! He wanted to play in the water, too!

He carefully climbed to the edge of the spinning chair just as the door opened, revealing a tall, blond man with a worried look in his eyes. Kakashi looked at him curiously before shrugging; he probably wouldn't help him get off the chair to play in the water, so he was therefore uninteresting.

Minato hurried into the kitchen in alarm, then gasped. "S-Sensei!"

A dripping Jiraiya stood amidst an even more soaked kitchen. Several things looked as if they had just been burning, and the Toad Sage seemed both sheepish and relieved. Minato stared at him in disbelief, and the silence stretched on, only to be interrupted by the drip drip of the water and a soft thump from the living room.

Jiraiya grinned nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Ah… well… see, here's what happened. I-"

And that was when the screaming started.

It was a loud, earsplitting wail, one that echoed off the walls and made the two elite ninja jump and spin around in an instant. They both sprinted to the front room as the screaming continued, dashing towards Kakashi, expecting an enemy attack or an ambush or a surprise assault-

All they found was little Kakashi, writhing on the floor and kicking and screaming enough to hurt their ears. Both just stood there and stared as the silver-haired child kept up his fit, tiny feet hitting the couch, eyes shut tight in agony, and mouth open and wailing.

Jiraiya finally jumped into action, diving to the ground and grabbing at the struggling boy. "Ka- Kakashi!" he gasped, trying to stop him from hurting himself. "Kakashi, what's wrong?! Kakashi?!"

He just kept screaming.

In a fit of panic, Jiraiya clamped his hand over his mouth, trying to just keep him quiet so he could think. He looked up to Minato, eyes wide, but his student looked just as lost and confused as he did. "K-Kashi," the Sannin panted, holding him tighter, "it's okay! Just- just tell me what's wrong!"

Kakashi whimpered against Jiraiya's hand and didn't answer. He kept trying to scream but Jiraiya's large hand muffled it thoroughly; the child whimpered again and started to cry. His large grey eyes filled with tears as they watched, and he looked up at them with the most pitiful puppy dog eyes Jiraiya had ever seen before he just started sobbing. Screaming and sobbing and kicking up at Jiraiya, shaking his head back and forth.

"Sensei!" Minato gasped, kneeling down on Kakashi's other side and staring at him in alarm. "You have to do something! He's- he's-"

"I don't know what's wrong with him! He was fine a second ago! Oh, god- Minato, do something! Fix him!"

"_Me?!_ I don't know what to do! Sensei, you do something!"

Kakashi's wails just grew louder and louder and louder, his sobs more violent and his struggles more powerful. Jiraiya finally just picked him up and wrapped one firm arm around his waist, pinning him against his chest to stop him from kicking. The moment Jiraiya tightened his grip Kakashi's screams rose in pitch and fervor, going from agonized to truly terrified. "Oh my god… Sakumo's going to _kill me! I broke his son!_"

Minato took a step forward, stopped, bit his lip, then clutched his hands over his ears and shouted, "We have to do something!"

"I-"

"-_Waaaaaaaaaaah!_-"

"_Know!_ Gods, Kakashi! Shut- shh, shh. Just calm down, everything's going to be fine-"

Another particularly loud sob interrupted Jiraiya- followed by the feel of two rows of tiny little teeth sinking right down into his hand. Jiraiya yelped and yanked it back, staring at the struggling child in his grip in shock. "Ow! He bit me!"

Minato tried to say something over Kakashi's wails, but it was completely drowned out, and the kid was just screaming so loud Jiraiya couldn't think- surely, he knew what to do! He had to know something, how to fix this- he was a ninja, god damn it, one of the legendary Sannin-

But Kakashi wouldn't stop crying and screaming, and he couldn't help but think that it was entirely his fault, and oh was Sakumo going to _kill_ him…

"Tsunade!"

It was a startled gasp of realization, and Minato looked at him like he was insane, but that didn't matter. Of course Tsunade would help! She would know what to do, yes, she would be able to just _stop that screaming_. She could do anything, and that included taking care of a wailing, terrified three-year-old.

"Come on!" he yelled over his shoulder, running right out the door of his apartment still carrying the fighting child in his arms. "Follow me!"

* * *

Tsunade hadn't been having a very good day.

But opening her door to see Jiraiya holding out a screaming child at arm's length like he was a bomb about to go off, expression a strange mix of hopefulness and terror- that just didn't help at all. His blond student was peeking over his shoulder, blue eyes wide and teeth gnawing on his lip in worry.

She should've just stayed in bed today.

"_You have to help him!_" Her teammate bellowed, the volume of his voice rivaling Kakashi's.

She winced.

Honestly…

"Oh, for god's sakes," she grumbled, stepping back to allow the mismatched trio inside. "Let me take a look at him."

Jiraiya practically bowled her over in his rush, dashing inside the apartment and looking around in a panic before Tsunade shoved him to her couch. He stumbled half the way there, barely managing to stay on his feet, and set the screaming, sobbing boy down before rubbing his ears.

"You did something," she muttered darkly, stepping around him to examine her newest patient. "You did something to him. Probably showed him some of your filthy porn magazines and he's traumatized for life."

"I did not!" he cried indignantly, for once, sounding totally innocent and even distraught. "I didn't show him anything- I didn't even do anything! I left him alone for one second and then he just started- started _screaming!_"

Tsunade groaned. "You had better hope he's screaming like this because of some mental trauma, because if it's a physical issue- well, injuries this young could stop him from being a ninja."

Jiraiya just stared at her in disbelieving horror- and then he raked his hands through his hair and started shouting just as loud as Kakashi, shaking his head back in forth in denial. "Oh god, oh my god, I've ruined his life! _I've ruined his life! Sakumo is going to kill me! _Oh my god, Kakashi- I'm so sorry, I-"

Tsunade sighed, trying to ignore his rambling. That brat was really going to have to shut up; he was mistaking her headache worse. Jiraiya and Kakashi both.

Ignoring her perverted teammate for the moment, she sat down on the couch, taking a firm hold of the squirming, screaming child's shoulder to hold him still. With her other hand, she grabbed him roughly by the hair, jerked his head back, and screamed louder than he was in his ear. "_Hey!_ You want me to help you?! Then _shut up!_"

That certainly did the trick. He fell silent with a whimper, weepy eyes wide and mouth set in a firm pout. Tears still streamed down his cheeks and there were still little sobs emerging from his mouth, but at least he was no longer screaming. That was always a good thing. Nodding satisfactorily, she set about using a diagnostic jutsu on him. Kakashi managed to keep somewhat still, though he kept breathing in hiccuping gasps and wiping in vain at the tears that coated his cheeks. "That's a good boy," she murmured, glancing at the still panicking Jiraiya over her shoulder. "Amazing. A terrified three year old has more control over his emotions than you do."

"Wha- but- I- hmph!" Jiraiya grunted loudly and his worried questions stopped abruptly, his arms now crossed and his face set determinedly in his sulking look. A sulky Jiraiya was never fun, Tsunade mused, but it had to be better than the anxious mess that had arrived here mere minutes before, so it would have to do.

She finally completed her scan of the struggling three year old and placed her hands against his right arm, ignoring his whimpered protests. "Shut up, Hatake brat, and maybe you'll get a lollipop when I'm through with you."

"She's lying," Minato piped up from Jiraiya. "She has no lollipops. Kakashi-kun, feel free to scream at her all you-"

"Do you want me to exam _you_ next?! Because I will, and believe me, it won't be anywhere near as easy as the one I'm giving this brat! It will involve rectal thermometers, it will involve more sake for me- hell, maybe I'll just skip the exam and shove my fists down your throat!"

Minato wilted, and Jiraiya chuckled uncomfortably. "I've been down that route, kid. It's not fun. We probably should just stay quiet."

"You damn right you will," Tsuande muttered, then returned her focus entirely to Kakashi. "You bastards managed to break his arm somehow. It's a really good break, too- need surgery if it weren't for the innovation of Chakra healings. No wonder he was screaming his head off."

Kakashi looked up at them with those big puppy dog eyes again, the ones that made Jiraiya melt inside, and the Toad Sage couldn't help but look away. "No… no! That's impossible- he was fine when I left him! And I was only gone for a second! How could he have-"

"He's still young," the medic interrupted. "Bones are brittle, still forming- wouldn't be very hard to break."

Kakashi sniffled, running his sleeve across his face as Tsunade's hands glowed green on his other arm. His voice was tiny and hoarse from all the screaming. "…I just jumped out of the chair. I wanted to go play in the water, too."

Tsunade nodded, murmuring, "That would do it…" But Jiraiya wasn't listening.

Oh, this was all his fault, Sakumo was going to _kill_ him because _he_ was the one who had left Kakashi alone after spinning him so fast on the chair, he probably had stumbled getting out of the chair and fallen. And now Sakumo would kill him, and then never let him watch Kakashi again, probably never speak to him again-

God, how had things become such a mess? Jiraiya sat down heavily on the couch and rested his head in his hands with a groan. One simple day of babysitting had required a visit to a medic. Talk about a disaster.

"Well…" Minato spoke up softly, hesitantly sitting down by Jiraiya's side, expression nervous like he was trying to be helpful but wasn't sure what to do, "when this poor kid's a ninja, I'm sure he'll find it funny he managed to get injured jumping off a chair…"

Kakashi sniffled again and sent a reproachful glare in Minato's direction. "'S not funny. Really hurt…"

Minato blinked, then smiled over at him and nodded. "I know it did, Kakashi," he said gently, "but... you were really brave, weren't you? Just like a ninja."

Kakashi paused, then nodded, emboldened, rubbing more of his tears away. "Yeah. Im'a ninja! Super ninja!"

Jiraiya managed to chuckle weakly. "Yep, you sure are. And we can play super ninja today if you want, because it's probably he last time I'll ever get to watch you again."

That got his attention. Kakashi looked up at him in alarm, almost jerking his arm away from Tsunade's healing hands in surprise. "What? Why?!"

He shrugged. "Your father... is not going to be happy. Because you broke your arm. I was supposed to be watching you, and, well-"

"I don't care what he says!" Kakashi defiantly pulled away from Tsunade and curled up on Jiraiya's lap, wrapping a firm arm around around his waist and burying his head in his chest. If he held onto Jiraiya like this, not even his father would be able to separate them, right? "You're my favorite babysitter! I don't want another one! You're my favorite ever! No one else plays super ninja with me or spins me around or tells me really cool stories like you!"

"K- Kashi..."

"Uh-uh!" Kakashi shook his head and held on tighter. "I'll keep it a secret if I have to! Daddy won't ever know what happened! We can keep it a secret, right, Jiji? It'll work! It has to!"

Jiraiya stared, stunned, while Tsunade just chuckled quietly and continued her work. "Just look at Sakumo with those eyes of yours, brat, and I'm sure you'll get to keep your favorite babysitter. And you, Jiraiya- never thought I'd see this kid hanging off you. Seems like you're not terrible with children after all."

Minato nodded firmly and smiled himself. "You know, Sensei, Sakumo doesn't have to find out- and it was an accident, anyway! Besides, Kakashi loves you. It would be a crime to separate you two."

Kakashi nodded against Jiraiya's chest. "Totally. A crime."

"...I... oh, all right. But I don't want to keep secrets from Sakumo- he'll really kill me then if he finds out."

"Well, this is not my problem." Tsunade stood and lightly patted Kakashi on the wrist. "Jiraiya, ice that, and make sure he doesn't strain it for the next... three hours or so. Bones need time to strengthen."

"What?" Kakashi protested. "I can't play super ninja like that! Jiji, she's wrong- tell her she's wrong!"

Tsunade groaned. "You know, I hope this kid doesn't become a ninja. I can just tell he'd be trouble after getting hurt- the kind that wakes up after surgery and tries to stroll out the window. Kakashi, either you do what I tell you to do, or you'll probably end up in the hospital after all. Bet you wouldn't like that."

Kakashi pouted again, glaring at Tsunade from under bangs of silver hair, and Jiraiya grinned and turned Kakashi away from the medic. "I'll tell you what, Kashi-kun. Minato will stall Sakumo tonight, so, that way, we'll have time for your arm to heal _and_ play super ninja. How does that sound, eh?"

"...Okay. I guess."

"Aw. Don't look so gloomy, Kakashi." Minato reached over to pinch Kakashi's cheek, laughing when the boy squirmed back into Jiraiya's arms and squeaked. "Can I keep him, Jiraiya-sensei? He's so cute."

Kakashi glared at him from the protection of Jiraiya's arms. "You're weird."

"Eh?!"

Jiraiya laughed. "The kid speaks the truth, I suppose."

Minato sighed heavily and leaned over, burying his face in his hands, appearing crestfallen. "Even my sensei thinks I'm weird? Oh, come on... I'm not that bad... right?"

Jiraiya laughed again, wrapping one arm around Minato, the other around Kakashi. "It's okay, Minato. Kushina still loves you."

"What about you? Do you think I'm weird, like Kakashi?"

The Sannin pretended to think about it. "Eh... well... Kashi is a genius. He's probably right..." At Minato's fake horrified look, Jiraiya grinned and shook his head. "I kid, I kid. Oh, my two boys... what would I do without you?"

"Guh." Tsunade threw her hands up in the air and turned to leave the room. "This is disgusting. Stop being so cheesy before you make me throw up."

Kakashi ignored her completely and just reached up to tug at Jiraiya's sleeve. "Super ninja?" he asked hopefully, and Jiraiya couldn't help but smile at his puppy dog eyes. The kid had a real knack for getting what he wanted.

"You know, Sensei, call me crazy, but I think he wants to play super ninja."

Jiraiya glanced over at his student, then gave a mischievous grin that made the blond look very apprehensive. "Jiraiya-sensei... what's with the creepy look..."

He shrugged innocently. "Nothing. Just, well, I think Kakashi might want to play with me _and someone else_..."

"Jiraiya-sensei..."

* * *

Minato ducked for the fifth time in as many minutes when a book came hurtling towards his head, quickly followed by the silver-haired child himself. "Gah!" he gasped, doubling over as Kakashi crawled over and clutched at his head, hanging on tightly no matter how hard Minato tried to throw him off. _"Gah! Sensei! Help!_"

"Busy here!"

"You are no- what the-?!" It seemed Jiraiya wasn't lying- he actually was 'busy'. He was caught up in what looked like a trap, and Minato suddenly felt a lot less safe with the squirming child on his head. "Oh my god! Sensei, this kid's lethal! Get him off of me!"

"You're a jounin! Do your own work!"

Minato twisted back and forth and Kakashi clung on for dear life, cheering and shouting happily, triumphantly, until the blond finally managed to throw the struggling boy to slam him into couch. "_Ha!_" he gasped, pointing down at Kakashi victoriously. "I got- huh?"

Kakashi... disappeared?

_It was a clone! Oh, no-_

"_Got you!_"

Minato doubled over as three more Kakashis tackled him, two clinging to his legs while one wrapped itself around his head again. Another one- the real one, probably- rounded the corner with an armful of books and began chucking them at him, one by one, until he down."I win!" Kakashi cried. "I win, I win, I win!"

Minato struggled against the three year olds for several moments- then realized, to his horror, Kakashi was right. Jiraiya was still struggling in his trap, and he was pinned down by three clones with the real one with a full arsenal at the ready should he try to escape.

The Toad Sage and his brightest pupil... had just been bested by a _three year old._

Minato stared in disbelief, then shook himself and grinned. _Don't give up yet. They don't call you the Yellow Flash for nothing!_ "Not yet!" he gasped, forming the signs for his body flicker technique. The next moment, he reappeared in Jiraiya's bedroom to the sound of an outraged yell back in the living room as the three Kakashis were suddenly lying on top of nothing. With a triumphant smile, Minato returned in a flash to pick up the real Kakashi by the collar, holding him out at arms length by the hand, so he couldn't form seals.

Kakashi kicked and struggled in mid air, twisting to try and find a way to reach long enough to hit Minato. The blond just stood patiently, waiting and smiling, until Kakashi finally slumped in his grip. He eyed Minato unhappily and stuck out his lower lip in a pout. "You cheated."

"Ah, ah, ah. You brought ninjutsu into this with your clones. That means any and all techniques are fair game." He set Kakashi lightly on the floor, then turned to go help his still fighting sensei escape from the net of ropes- and sent a beaming smile over his shoulder. "Don't worry, Kakashi. You almost got me. In fact, I'm almost afraid to play next time- you'll probably win then and I'll never be able to leave with my pride intact."

"Hmph." Kakashi walked over and crossed his arms, sulking as Jiraiya stood and dusted himself off. The Sannin stretched, then looked up at the sound of a knock at his door.

"Hey- that's your dad, kid!"

Kakashi immediately brightened at that, and he turned and ran over to open it himself. Jiraiya smiled, watching as Kakashi threw the door open and immediately hugged Sakumo's leg tightly, pressing his face against it happily. Then he bit his lip and glanced up at the White Fang himself nervously. Well, this was it- time to tell Sakumo that he had managed to break Kakashi's arm. Granted, the kid was okay now, but... he'd still be lucky if Sakumo ever left him alone with his son again.

Sakumo laughed, reaching down to ruffle his son's hair. "Well, I guess you had fun today?"

Kakashi nodded firmly. "Yeah! Jiji's the best!"

"That's good to hear, Kashi." Sakumo looked up at Jiraiya and smiled. "Thanks for doing this. I trust he wasn't any trouble?"

"Eh... well... not exactly..." he scratched the back of his head and shifted uncomfortably again. This was it. Confession time.

Just then, little Kakashi caught his eye. He was still hugging his father's leg, but looking up at him with wide eyes and a half-pleading expression on his face. His lower lip was wobbling, his eyes were wide and sad- for god's sakes, he looked like he was about to cry. _Please_ he mouthed, and Jiraiya blinked, then gave up.

_Kakashi was too endearing for his own good,_ Jiraiya thought wryly as he looked back up to Sakumo. Well, Kakashi seemed to really, _really_ want him to stay his babysitter- and he couldn't let down that cute face. Nope, just couldn't do it.

"Nope. No trouble at all, Sakumo," he declared, then winked at the little mini-Sakumo attached to the White Fang's leg.

Kakashi's eyes widened, and then his face transformed into a beaming smile.


End file.
